It's going to be a lonely journey
I think it's going to be a lonely journey. What is? The pregnancy.
I don't know why i feel so alone even though I am surrounded by family and my husband who is close by. Well...at least physically close by that is. Mentally, I am afraid we are miles apart.
The hormones is driving me nuts...I feel like I am out of control. There is like so much rage inside of me. I can't seem to control it. The physical discomfort from the pregnancy is also not helping much. The constant feeling of sickness, exhuastion is draining me. It doesn't help to have people constantly telling you this is normal and get over it. I hate it whenever someone says that, they might have gone through pregnancies and survived but helloooo...I am going through the pain now. Yes, it doesn't kill...but it's not exactly a great feeling. It doesn't feel good to have someone brushing it off as normal when u are trying to survive through a bout of sickness and trying to hold ur head up high at the same time.
I tried telling my husband how I feel but he was just too engrossed with his food and tv and told me to bear with it. It's only short term....he said.
I'm not saying he is not a supportive husband. Yes..he helps out with the house chores and I appreciate that but being there physically is not the same as being there for me when I need him...do you understand what I am trying to say? He doesn't. He thinks I am being difficult. But I need someone who can understand what I am going through and I need a husband who can sympathise with my feelings. Someone who can support me not only physically but also emotionally. I tried getting him to understand but he seems very engrossed with his new course. He only has so much time for so many things.
I think i am an emotion wreck. I hate feeling this way. I hate feeling alone. It doesn't help that most of my closest gfs cannot understand what I am going through..I have a sister who had 3 kids, a brother who has 2 daughters, a mother who had seen so many pregnancy but yet I feel very alone.
I am sick and tired of felling this way. i have another 28 weeks to go. It's seems like an eternity.
I don't know why i feel so alone even though I am surrounded by family and my husband who is close by. Well...at least physically close by that is. Mentally, I am afraid we are miles apart.
The hormones is driving me nuts...I feel like I am out of control. There is like so much rage inside of me. I can't seem to control it. The physical discomfort from the pregnancy is also not helping much. The constant feeling of sickness, exhuastion is draining me. It doesn't help to have people constantly telling you this is normal and get over it. I hate it whenever someone says that, they might have gone through pregnancies and survived but helloooo...I am going through the pain now. Yes, it doesn't kill...but it's not exactly a great feeling. It doesn't feel good to have someone brushing it off as normal when u are trying to survive through a bout of sickness and trying to hold ur head up high at the same time.
I tried telling my husband how I feel but he was just too engrossed with his food and tv and told me to bear with it. It's only short term....he said.
I'm not saying he is not a supportive husband. Yes..he helps out with the house chores and I appreciate that but being there physically is not the same as being there for me when I need him...do you understand what I am trying to say? He doesn't. He thinks I am being difficult. But I need someone who can understand what I am going through and I need a husband who can sympathise with my feelings. Someone who can support me not only physically but also emotionally. I tried getting him to understand but he seems very engrossed with his new course. He only has so much time for so many things.
I think i am an emotion wreck. I hate feeling this way. I hate feeling alone. It doesn't help that most of my closest gfs cannot understand what I am going through..I have a sister who had 3 kids, a brother who has 2 daughters, a mother who had seen so many pregnancy but yet I feel very alone.
I am sick and tired of felling this way. i have another 28 weeks to go. It's seems like an eternity.
posted by the mad fat chef at 9:15 PM
3 Comments:
sounds like u are falling into depression. tell ur gynea abt it.
hey,
thanks for ur note.
i have spoken to my gynae and things are looking better.
the mood swing's still erratic but had improved =)
hi mad chef! thank you for commenting on my blog. I TOTALLY understand what you mean when yo write "It doesn't help to have people constantly telling you this is normal and get over it." I got this comment from gfs, even those who have not experienced pregnancy! And it will be followed by them bringing up the example of their friend who puked right through the 9 months of her pregnancy as "proof" that yours is not as bad! I was a wreck too all the way up to 16, 17 weeks. Am SO much better now. My first meal once I got over my 1st trimester discomfort was also bee hoon with stewed pork and homemade chilli - you can see my pic on my blog :)
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